To Logan the last six hours seemed like days. The night of drinking and racing he had spent with Remy seemed a distant memory. A memory he wish he could go back to. Maybe he could have stopped Remy from coming home so early, maybe he could have convinced Remy not to see Bobby anymore, anything to stop this from happening. If he would have just kept them apart the man he loved would not be upstairs suffering.
Jean had kicked them all out of the room after explaining what she knew. So, he retreated to the back porch where he began trying to drink away the night's events. Even after his tenth beer the trouble thoughts didn't stop. He couldn't stop feeling helpless, he wanted to help remy so badly and couldn't. It was the worse feeling in the world to him. No one was even sure of what was going on exactly. Remy would have to tell them more when he woke. Jean said the first few days would be the hardest, and it would be best that he wasn't surrounded by people until things settled a bit. After the storm settled, and his mind adjusted to the new memories, it would be a slow process of remembrance until the events placed themselves in order. Until that happened s wanted everyone to keep their distance. That was going to be hard to do. He wanted to see the Cajun so badly. He knew a little of what Remy felt and knew how emotional the Cajun could get over such things.
Knowing that the memories were most likely Remy's lost childhood scared him also. The Cajun once told him he couldn't remember his parents, where he came from, or any family, but was sure he was better off without the knowledge. He had seen the scares, woke him from the nightmares, stared into those beautiful eyes when they filled with tears after he spoke about it. It hurt Remy, even if he didn't know why. It worried him to know that something so traumatic had now come to haunt his friend.
It also pissed off the Canadian to know how it started. Just that night at Harry's, Remy had spilled his guts about the relationship between him and Bobby. Of course he had a couple too many shots of whiskey, but Logan still listened, like he always did. Through the drunken rantings, he caught the bottom line. The Cajun wasn't sure Bobby cared about him, and he was moving too fast. Remy wanted to make sure there was something there before he slept with Bobby. Then not a couple hours later this whole nightmare started. Bobby may not have forced Remy, but he was sure he pressured him. After Drake left the room, Jean explained she was sure that the pressure was the trigger. The flashes she received showed Remy lead a very abusive young life. She was not sure how bad it got, but the lack of control Remy felt was the trigger, she was sure of it.
He downed the last of his beer and hoped it would stop his mind from wondering. He knew the bottomline, this was going to be devastating to Remy. He just hoped this make shift family was up to it, cause the Cajun was going to need them more then anything.
"Robert, may I come in?" Hank knocked lightly on the door to his best friend's room. Jean was concerned about Bobby's reaction to Remy's breakdown and had sent him up to talk to him. The young man could not get out of the room fast enough once Jean had explained everything. He just left the room without saying a word.
"Yea, the doors unlocked."
Hank stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. "I came to see how you were Robert. You seemed to leave quite abruptly. Are you alright?"
Bobby didn't move from his seat on the edge of the bed. "I'm not sure Hank. All this happened so fast. I don't know what to think."
"That is understandable, my friend. This was very unexpected." Hank pulled a chair closer to his friend, and took a seat. "Would you like to talk about it?"
Bobby took a deep breath and licked his lips. He could use some advice, he admitted to himself. "I just feel in the way."
"In the way?" This was not what Hank expected.
"Yea, I don't know how to explain it. I thought I knew Remy, or was on the way to knowing him. In one night's time I found out I know nothing! Hell, Logan knew more then me! That's another thing, Logan. He's so worried about Remy that he keeps turning everything around on me. It's just frustrating."
"Robert, I understand this is confusing, to Remy and yourself, but he will need support. Someone to talk to. I am sure you would be that person."
Bobby snorted. "Remy isn't going to talk to me. When he wants to talk he goes to Logan or Ororo. I think I'm better off just staying out of the whole thing."
Hank shook his head. He thought his friend would be a little more supportive then this. "Robert, may I ask, do you love Remy?"
Robert looked his friend in the eye for the first time since he walked in the room. "I don't know Hank. I thought there was something there, but this is a lot to take on. I knew Remy had his problems, but I don't know if I can handle this much. When I started dating Remy it was fun. We did things together that I hadn't ever done, but it just not like that anymore. This whole repressed memory thing..."
"It is not fun. Relationships are not always fun Robert. They are work. I understand if you were not walking into this relationship expecting this kind of trauma to surface. I just ask that you be careful with Remy right now. If you do decide to end your liaisons with Remy, I would prefer you talk to Jean first. I do not want you to worsen the situation."
"I don't know, I think maybe I will just keep some distance for a day or two, think about it."
Hank stood and sighed deeply. "I would ask that you talk to Remy as soon as you can. He will probably be wanting your support through this. When you abandon him he may believe he is at fault and that could only add to his stress. If you want to end this Robert, I suggest you do it soon. Do not lead Remy on with false hopes."
"Alright Hank, I'll talk to him soon. I just need to think."
Hank nodded and left his friend to do just that, to think. Once in the hall he frowned. Every time he thought Bobby had grown up, he would show his immaturity again. He knew this was going to hit Remy very hard, even if there were no love between them. He could not blame Bobby for not wanting to take on such a challenge, especially if the relationship was just in 'fun'. He still could not help but think it was very selfish on Bobby's part.
Jean sat tiredly against the headboard of Remy's plush four poster bed, constantly scanning Remy's mind as he lay silently asleep. She was absentmindedly stroking his hair as she thought of the troubles this was going to cause for the young man next to her. Remy should not wake for awhile, but she did not want to leave his side. Many of her team mates knew how motherly should could become when a family member was in need, especially the earlier members. Seeing Remy curled in the corner frightened and alone triggered that instinct. She vowed then not to leave him, she would see him through to the end. He was going to need all the support he could get if the memories got any worse then what she witnessed.
She had opened her mind completely when Remy began broadcasting, hoping to catch more of the memories. This caused her to pick up the thoughts of those around her as well. What she picked up from the two men surprised her to say the least. She expected Bobby to be more concerned and worried for Remy. It surprised her to catch him thinking about leaving, that it was too much for him to deal with. Logan on the other hand was being very protective, and feeling helpless that he could not do more for his young friend. She almost had to physically remove him from the room when she was done explaining, where Bobby just turned away and left.
Then there was Scott. She decided earlier in the evening she needed to tell her husband what had happened. Explain that she was staying with Remy until the trauma was worked out. This would mean she would have to keep their link closed for a while, so she could concentrate on Remy. She hated to close the link completely, especially now that Scott's nightmares had began again suddenly, but she had to. All her energy needed to go to Remy now. She knew Scott was going be angry about the turn of events, but she hoped he would understand and agree to help. Scott's teenage years seemed to mirror Remy's repressed memories, he would be a great help, if only he would talk to the Cajun. She glanced at the clock and decided it was late enough to wake Scott up and explain what had happened. She needed to get this out of the way before Remy woke.
Jean could tell Scott had been asleep and was now searching for her. ~Honey, I am in Remy's room.~
~Remy's room? What are you doing in his room?~
Jean rubbed her temples. ~There is no need to yell Scott! Remy had a mental breakdown tonight. Some repressed memories have broken loose in his mind. He will need my help sorting it out.~
~So you are staying there? Can't the professor help him?~
Jean cringed at the slight anger and jealousy dripping down the link. ~Remy is not comfortable with the Professor. I think having any man in here right now would be a bad idea.~
Jean felt Remy stirring on her lap and frowned, he was suppose to sleep for at least another hour. Hank had mentioned that drugs worked differently with Remy, and his sleep may differ due to it, but she didn't expect him to wake so soon. ~Scott I must shut down the link for awhile to help Remy. He is waking and he will be upset. I must go...~
Jean was suddenly hit with broadcasted memories just like before. Faces, places, and events hitting her in no order or clarity. She shut the link down with Scott and tried to reach into Remy's to sooth him, but even in Remy's tormented state his shields were too strong to do anything more then a light scan. She was suddenly brought out of her concentration by a loud wail.
Remy leapt up, sitting upright in the bed. He grabbed the sides of his head and screamed at the agony, he couldn't bare the pain. His mind was like being caught in a nightmare that you couldn't wake up from. People and places, that he didn't recognize, ripped through his head like a sick slide show that he couldn't stop. His head pounded harder at every image, it felt like it was going to explode at any moment. He opened his eyes wide, hoping he would wake form the sick dream, but screamed again when it did nothing to stop it's attack. His eyes suddenly locked with Jean, who was straddling his hips trying to talk to him, but he couldn't make out the words. What is happening? Why won't it stop? Jean is a telepath, is she doing this to me? Why won't she stop it? He finally opened his eyes, not realizing he had even closed them again. He looked at the red-head. "Please, make this stop!"
Jean cried silent tears of sympathy for Remy. She could see small fragments of the memories as they would be occasionally broadcast from his mind. She pulled him to her chest and rocked him slowly, letting him know she was there and he was safe. All she could do is try to comfort him until it was over, this had to run it's course, then the healing could begin. She held his trembling body to hers, rubbing Remy's back in small circles, until she was sure it was over. She still felt the tears seeping through her thin night shirt, but knew the storm in his mind had calmed. "It is over, Remy. I am sorry I could not stop it, it was something your mind had to do."
Remy pulled away from Jean and wiped his eyes. "What's happenin' Jeannie? Am I goin' crazy?"
Jean shook her head."No, you are not going crazy. Your mind is trying to make you remember, and you are not ready yet. What just happened was repressed memories trying to sort themselves into your mind. They may not make sense now, but you will remember them slowly, piece by piece, like a puzzle. You will work the frame and then work on the details, until the picture is complete. Do you understand?"
"Non! What if I don't want to remember? What if there is a reason they were repressed? Can't you just take them away, lock them away again? Please! I don't want them!" Remy closed his eyes again tightly when his head began to throb. This was to much! Why now? Why him?
Jean massaged Remy's temples. This was going to be difficult. "I am sorry Remy, I cannot repress them again. Your mind can only do that on it's own. Your mind decided to lock away these memories to protect you, now it has released them knowing you are strong enough to work through them. It will be alright, I will help you through it, but you have to help me, help you. If you remember something I want you to share it with me. Don't hide it away again. I won't lie to you, I know these memories will be hard to remember, but we will work through them together. You have support, I will be here, and Logan is about to go crazy with worry, Hank and Bobby as well. You need to trust us as a family to help you. Do not push us away."
Remy knew there was no way out of this. He wasn't sure what was locked away in his head, but it was obvious everyone in the mansion was going to find out. His normal stubborness made him feel angry about the intrusion, this should be private, he should do this alone, but in all honesty, he was scared, and it gave him a little piece of mind that he had support in this. "How does this work? Do y' have to go into my mind?"
Jean smiled weakly. Happy that Remy was not fighting her, it would make it so much easier. "No. This has to run it's course naturally. I will not enter your mind unless it is necessary. We will start with triggering. Basically I will ask you questions and you will try to answer them for me. Once the memories start taking there place in your mind they will come to you easier. They will also surface in dreams, in your daily thoughts, other things may trigger the memories as well. This will be a very tiring process at first, so it is best that you stay in bed and rest for the next few days, they will be the hardest."
Remy yawned. "When do we start?"
"It is still early morning, so you can go back to sleep. We will start when you wake? Sound good?"
"I'm scared Jean." Remy admitted shyly.
Jean brushed her hand over his forehead. "I know honey, so am I."