"Are you sure you want to do this Logan?" Jean asked from her seat in front of Logan.
"Yea, Jeannie, tired of not knowing." Logan whispered back.
"Ok, but if you want to stop just tell me and..." Jean's sentence was cut off with a wave of Logan's hand.
"Yea, Yea, just get it over with already!"
"Ok, I am just going to open the memories enough that they will come to you slowly. I don't want them to overwhelm you, especially since we don't know what they are and how you will react." Jean would never show it, but this scared her. Logan came to her to unlock his past, which surprised and thrilled her at the same time. Surprised that he would finally ask for help and help from, to use his term, a 'spook'. It thrilled her that he trusted her enough to be that 'spook'. Not knowing what will come from these memories was the scariest part, they could be anything and cause almost any reaction. She was thinking about backing down from what she was going to do, refer him to the Professor, knowing he would never let him do it. She was suddenly awoke from her thinking by Logan.
"We gonna do this or what, Red?" Logan scowled.
"Yes, sorry. I was just thinking of the best way to do it. Let me just go in and see what we are dealing with, and don't fight me, Logan" Jean ordered.
"Ya are starting to sound like Slim, and I don't take orders from him either!"
"It would be easier on you and me if you didn't try to resist. YOU are the one that came to me Logan!"
"Ok, just get started, I'll try not to fight ya, but I ain't promising nothing!"
"Fine." She placed her hands on either side of Logan's face and entered his mind. She looked around his mind until she found what seemed to be the memories that had been lost in the back of his mind. She was tempted to look at the memories. See what they were, see if they are harmful or traumatic, but she stopped herself. She knew that this could cause the memories to flood into Logan's mind and that would be too much at once. She cut a small hole in the fabric of the memories, allowing only parts to seep into his open mind. After what seemed like minutes, but was truly two hours, she exited his mind with a small sigh.
"There it is done." Jean stated proudly.
"So, why don't I remember anything?" Logan questioned, feeling no different then before.
"Like I said, I only allowed a small hole to be created. The memories will only flow out slowly, and only when you are stable and calm. You will probably remember them through dreams, since that is when your mind is at its calmest. Understand?"
"Yea Jeannie, I get it." Logan sighed as he rose to leave.
"Good. Please keep me informed on what you remember. Please stay on the grounds for the next few days so we can make sure everything is going smoothly." Jean shot him a smile she knew he could not resist.
"Yea Jeannie, I will keep ya up to date on your gossip."
"And?" Jean glared at him
"And stay on the grounds." Logan rolled his eyes and moved to leave.
"Logan?" Jean grabbed Logan's shoulder "Thank you, for trusting me enough to do this. I know it is the best thing for you."
"We'll see about that." Logan shrugged "And thanks, Jeannie."
"Anytime." Jean gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and left out the door with a smile on her face.
Logan stood there for a minute thinking about what he just did. "What the hell was I thinking!" Scared of what could come of these memories, scared of what would happen if he did something the others would not approve of, scared if he did something that HE did not approve of. He shook himself of his self pity, grabbed a beer from the frig, and went to his room to settle for the night.
The next morning Logan made his way into the kitchen. Still too early for most people in the mansion. Getting closer to the door he could smell Jean and Scott on the other side, mingled with fresh coffee, eggs and bacon. His stomach growled and he pushed the door open and mumbled. "Mornin'."
"Good Morning, Logan." Scott said from over his morning paper.
"So how did you sleep?" Jean questioned with a wide grin on her face. She was almost as excited as a kid on Christmas.
"Fine." Logan muttered before sitting down at the table with his coffee and food.
Jean knew he would not say anything with Scott sitting at the table to listen, so she gave her husband a nice mental nudge, and he took the hint.
"Well, I have a Danger Room mission to work on, so I will see you two later." Scott got up, kissed Jean on the cheek, and left the room.
With out wasting any time Jean looked at Logan "Well?"
"Well what?" Logan knew what she wanted to know, but this was too much fun.
"You know what! Did you dream anything last night? Remember anything?" Jean was almost bouncing out her chair, like Logan had the secrets to the universe in his head.
"Yea, Red, I remembered something last night." Logan took another sip of coffee.
"So what was it?" She was squealing like a five year old.
"You're getting as bad as Bobby, ya know that Jeannie? I remembered a fishing trip, thats it, just a fishing trip. Nothing special."
"Oh." Jean said, almost disappointed "At least we know it is working out okay though, right? No headaches or anything, right?"
"Nope, just fine." Logan mumbled between mouth fulls of eggs.
"Ok, well I must get ready for a shopping trip with the girls. Should you need me?"
"Yea, I know where to find ya." Logan laughed, knowing the girls would not leave the mall until they maxed out all of Wings credit cards.
As she got up to leave, the kitchen door opened lazily. Walking in was a yawning, very tired looking, Cajun. He seemed to be sleep walking to the coffee machine.
"Well, look who got up before noon." Jean chuckled taking in the tired young man.
All she got in return was a wave of the hand from Remy, confirming that it was way too early for verbal bickering.
"Well, since he's not going to play, I will leave you two." Jean grinned as she left the kitchen.
Remy sat down across from Logan with a large mug of coffee and sighed. "Why does Cyke schedule sessions this early for?"
Logan laughed. "Knew there had to be something that got ya out of bed this early, ya wouldn't do it on your own."
"Got that right." Remy yawned in response.
They both sat in silence, Logan finishing his breakfast, Remy finishing off three cups of coffee. Then Remy broke the silence. "So, word 'round da mansion is y' let Jeannie in y' head." Remy gave Logan a sly grin knowing he had information that he wasn't suppose to have. He was not about to tell him that it wasn't really word around the mansion. He just happened to be on watch duty the night before and witnessed it in the camera room. He was just curious of the details.
"The walls are too God Damn thin here." Logan growled.
"So whats goin' on? She chasin' 'way those nightmares?" Remy got up to put his cup in the sink before Logan could answer.
"Nope, she just giving me back the memories I lost before the whole Weapon X thing." Logan stated matter of factly. He had no clue why he was telling the Cajun, but he figured everyone would know soon enough.
"Oh? What kinda memories are those?" A sudden fear hit Remy. What if Logan hadn't just forgot, what if what he feared was just locked away with those memories. What if one day Logan remembered, what if he knew now! Then he would tell them, then they would know, everything they thought of him would be confirmed. Remy's head was flying a million miles a minute on the wings of panic. He almost didn't hear Logan's answer.
"Not sure, I haven't remembered everything yet. Jeannie said I would remember a little at a time, in dreams..." Logan stopped when he noticed the sudden fear in the air and wondered where it was coming from. When he glanced over to Remy at the kitchen sink, he saw that he was staring out the window. The Cajun was gripping the sink so tight, his knuckles were white. Concerned he got up and quickly walk over to the area where Remy stood. Wanting to see what was outside that scared Remy. When he looked out the window there was nothing. "Whats wrong, kid?"
Remy jumped. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't even notice that Logan was next to him. He quickly got himself together and put on his best poker face. "Nothin', Logan." He looked up at the clock. "Merde! I was suppose to be in the Danger Room five minutes ago!"
Logan grabbed Remy by the elbow and spun him around. "You're lying kid. I smell the fear on ya, what's goin' on?"
Remy faltered for a second, trying to think of something to say. He knew Logan could tell a lie from a mile away, so he said the first thing that came to mind. "You'd be scared too if y' were late to a session wit' Cyke." He gave his best smile and hoped Logan would drop it.
"Ok, but kid ya know I'm here if you need to talk about something." Logan knew that is all he could do. If the kid didn't want to talk he wouldn't.
"Merci, Logan. That means more then y' know, really." Remy smiled and raced out of the room.
Logan padded his way through the mansion hall to his room. He had spent the day fixing his bike and fighting a few sessions in the Danger Room. Now he was ready to sit back with a few beers and watch the game. As he sat watching hockey he could not help to think back to that morning. "What the hell spooked the kid?" All day he tried to think of what caused it and could not pin-point anything that was said or done, and it didn't help that the Cajun would never talk to anyone. Damn! Why I am worrying about it anyway, Cajun's not my problem.
Why was he worried about Remy? He had to think about that one. He always worried about him. He could never think of why, but ever since the Cajun stepped foot on the mansion grounds he felt like he had to watch the kid's back. It was that look, he remembers like it was yesterday. When Ororo introduced Remy to him the look the kid gave him, it was only in his eyes for a second, but he caught it, and it burned into his memory. Ever since he felt he needed to stay close to the kid, to protect him from whatever put that haunted look in his eyes.
Logan shook his head. Too caught up in thought about everything to enjoy the game, he turned off the tv and crawled into bed. Before finally closing his eyes he wished to what ever god was listening "Let it be something more interesting then fishing. The only thing I got from that is remembering why I don't go fishing anymore". He chuckled to himself and closed his eyes and feel into sleep and dreams.
Logan was walking down a city street, not a familiar street, but yet he knew where he was going. He glanced at a address, then a street sign above his head, 'Bourbon Street'. He crossed the road, calm in the knowledge he was going in the right direction to his hotel. He took in the sites and the smells of the city. Suddenly a strange sound caught his attention across the street. He stopped and turned, just in time to see a small boy quickly stagger from a corner restaurant and into the alley. He was closely followed out by a man yelling.
"I told you to stay out of here you little demon, we don't want you here, we don't serve your kind!"
Logan had seen street kids before, they were in every city, but for some reason he was worried about this one. Maybe it was how young he looked, or the fact that he looked sick. Maybe it was just curiosity of what 'kind' the restaurant doesn't serve. Whatever it was he found himself crossing the street to search out the kid. He headed down the alley he saw the kid stumble into, and found it had many cross alleys. His sense of smell was not any help due to the overwhelming scent of trash and urine. He walked the alleys for almost an hour when he heard a small sound behind a dumpster, so faint his hearing almost didn't pick it up. It was crying. Logan bent down and looked behind the dumpster and there he was. The small boy was huddled between the wall and the dumpster trying to look invisible.
"Hey kid, why don't ya come out of there?" Logan said trying to coax him out.
There was no response from the kid. Just a small whimper and the sound of him trying to back himself closer to the wall, away from Logan.
"Come on kid, I won't hurt ya. Ya look sick, and I bet you're hungry. Come on out and we'll get some food." Logan was getting worried that the kid wasn't saying anything. He hadn't even opened his eyes. If he had to he would move the dumpster and drag the kid out, but he knew that would only spook him. In his most calming voice Logan asked one more time "Kid, I know you're scared, but I just want to help ya. I won't hurt ya. Please, at least talk to me."
"I can't, go 'way." The child mumbled as he pushed himself further away.
"Ya can't?" Logan questioned "Ya can't what? If ya can't get out I can move the dumpster and carry ya out"
"NON!" The broken cry rang out through the alley. Scared eyes flew open to meet with Logan's, and then quickly dropped to the ground in fear. "Please, leave me 'lone, go 'way, I can't."
Logan had to take a minute to register what he saw. Those eyes were like nothing he had seen before, red on black, demon eyes. Then it dawned on him, that is the "kind" the restaurant did not serve, mutants. Those bastard, he's just a hungry kid. Not only was this boy alone on the streets, he was a mutant. Making it that much harder. His heart broke for the child. He could not imagine what he had been through in his small life. That just made him want to help him more. He thought maybe if he could figure out what he couldn't do he could go from there. "Kid, I don't understand, ya can't what?"
"I can't fuck y', go find somebody else." The small voice said in almost a sob.
"What?" Logan couldn't think of anything to say. His head was spinning, the word rolling over and over in his head. Fuck?, Fuck? Did he say Fuck? That can't be what he said, he can't be more them 7 years old, he can't even know what that means! Shit! He looked at the boy, wanting to get him off the streets more then ever. "Kid, I need ya to come out. I don't want to fuck ya, I don't want anything from ya. I want to get ya some food and make sure you're ok. Please?" He held out his hand and prayed that the boy would take it.
The child looked up at him, his body visibly trembling in fear. He stared into the man's eyes for long minutes as if trying to read his soul. After a while he gave in and reached out his small, shaky, hand and put it into Logan's.
Logan let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "That's a good kid, come on out. I won't hurt ya."
Once the boy crawled out from behind the dumpster into the street light he noticed just how bad off the kid was. He was shaking badly from weakness, he was way too thin, bruised, dirty, and he could smell the blood on him. Logan knew he had to get him some food and get him cleaned up now! Logan knelt down to be eye level with the boy. "Listen kid, I have a hotel room..." Logan was interrupted by the kid jerking away his hand and screaming.
"Non! I can't!" The boy yelled as he backed away from Logan. "I can't." He repeated, then suddenly dropped to the ground.
"Shit!" Logan cursed as he put an arm out to grab the kid before he hit the pavement. He picked up the boy in his arms and started running.